2014.08.10 last letter home

This is my last letter home... I can't believe it.

Without doubt, this has been two of the most meaningful years of my life. I've seen the Lord's hand so much, seen lives change, and more than anything seen my personal relationship with the Savior improve so much while serving as a missionary. I'm so grateful for the chance that I still have to serve. I know that time is short, but I'm excited to give all that I can to the Lord before it's time to return. And even after returning, I'm excited to see how the things I have learned here will change my life after my mission.

First and foremost, I know that God lives. I know that we are his children and that he is our Father. I know that He loves us and is mindful of all of his children. As missionaries, we have the sacred blessing to act as messengers of that love. In life, I think that the hardest or most trying times are simply when we lose sight of who we really are. I was reminded of a talk this week by President Uchtdorf, speaking on Our True Identity. In it he shared a similar message. He shared about the importance of remembering where we come from, and what we are meant to be. The knowledge of our divine origin and potential changes everything. How we view ourselves, how we view others, each can be seen in a new light.

When we come to know God, it awakens a desire in our hearts. More than anything, we desire to return to Him, and are willing to anything we can to make it possible. He has provided that plan for us. He has showed us the way. He has given us the words of Prophets, and the gift of personal revelation and the Spirit to guide us in our lives. And He has given His only begotten Son, even Jesus Christ.

I know for myself that Christ is our Savior. He is my Savior and my Heavenly Friend. I can never adequately express my thanks for what he has done for me. He has changed my life, He has given me hope, and He has taken away my pain. And all that He asks is that I follow. That I would serve Him and bless the lives of others. And in whose service, I find greater joy than I have ever experienced before.

I am a missionary of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is by His Atonement that all men may be saved through faith on His name, Repentance, Baptism, Receiving the Holy Ghost, and Enduring to the End. It is because of Him that our story does not end at Death. We are creatures of Eternity. We have a divine potential. So many live without this knowledge, or dimmed by doubt and uncertainty. But for me, I am certain. I have felt His love. I've been lead by His Spirit. And I know that one day I will have the opportunity to stand before Him. I hope at that time that I will be ready. With so many imperfections and mistakes, I wonder sometimes how He can love me the way that He does. I want so much to be better. To be the person He would have me be. I love Him with all my heart, and I am so grateful for the privilege to wear His name and participate in His work.

I know that this church is true. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and I know that church is led by a living prophet today, even Thomas S. Monson. I know that this is Christ's work, and I leave this testimony in His name. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A few brief notes before I close.

Fun part of the week: Yesterday I woke up in the middle of the night feeling super sick. Diarrhea, vomiting, headache, the whole nine yards. Plus, that day was my last day of Church in Korea. There was a Baptism for the parents of a member of our ward, I had my farewell talk, and the missionaries did a special musical number for the Baptism where I had a solo. I almost died. And then the night before one of the Elders here got a call to transfer to the office after church. He's been feeling sick for a while, so he'll serve there for a transfer or two until he feels better. ...Sometimes life can be unexpected. Especially as a missionary. But I wouldn't have it any other way. This week we got to visit a lot of members and investigators we've been meeting, and it just reminded me again just how cool this work is. Met three new investigators. One of which knew the missionaries a couple years ago and seems to be really interested. Visited our Bishop who invited some family and friends there. Talked to his nephew who is currently less active. He had decided he doesn't want to serve of mission, but after talking, he said that a part of him wants to again. There's just no better experience at this part of our lives than serving a mission. (I lean towards the opinion that raising a family probably trumps it, but as I have not yet tried it, I'll have to go on an educated guess.)

I'll see you next week! That's hard to believe. It feels so strange. But I'm excited to see all of you again. Until then, stay healthy, stay safe, and have an awesome week!

~Elder Robarts

2014.08.03

Dear Home,

 

I'm begining to lose my mind. I feel like there's sand runnning through my hands, and I'm constantly trying to hold on to it.

 

Oddly enough (please don't take this the wrong way), I did okay with this whole going home thing, up until I made the realization that I'll be in the Seoul Temple in less than two weeks. I'm here. 100%. But that thought took me back for a second. It made me realize just how short this time is.

 

It didn't help that I took a HUGE trip down memory lane this week. My MTC Companion, Elder Forbes, has been going around the mission helping missionaries and doing brief trainings recently, and this week he came to Mokpo to serve with us and the other Elders here. It was so amazing serving together again. He's an awesome guy. So upbeat and outgoing. It was good.^^

Then, a former investigator from Daejeon called. The missionaries there told them I was going home this week and so they wanted to say hi before I left. They've been having a hard time meeting with the missionaries there right now, so we got to talk a little and they'll see if they can start meeting more again. I arranged to stay in contact after I go home, so hopefully messages through email and facebook will help too.

 

I love this people. This week we met a man who has experienced so much hardship in his life recently. A health condition that is slowly eating away his body, constantly needing to visit the hospital, and he only has a little family here. But on top of it all, this past week, his brother passed away in Seoul. Please keep him in your prayers. The thing is, when we talk with him, there's so much hope in his voice. He's ready to receive the Gospel. I feel like it every time we've talked with him on the phone. I've only seen him face to face once, but as we've talked with him, I've come to love him so much.

 

There are so many in this world like him, just reaching out for the truth. Looking for more.

 

Is there truly any better day than a day in the service of God? I've come to realize that life's greatest joys are simply doing what we know is right. You don't need more than that. Have faith, live righteously, reflect often on the blessings God has given you.

 

That reflecting brings me to another topic. There are a few things I am excited for back home.

 

Family/Temple

Friends

Being able to organize things...

I've had so many ideas about journals, notes, everything. Problem: all of it is digital... But I'm excited to work on it in a little bit.

 

One thing I wanted was just a more effective index. By able to find the memories that will help the most.

 

Also, Gospel Library. I'm making a personal one. G.C. talks, Mormon messages, quotes, favorite scripture references...  Oh, the possibilities...

 

This probably sounds really nerdy, and more than a little weird, but for two years I've had a lot of personal study time, limitted access to a computer, and a lot of desire to reflect on past insights. Plus I've got a terrible memory. So I need to use what I've got. Lot's of plans... :D

 

That's all I've got for now. Don't worry. I'm not more excited to retype journals than I am to see all of you. It's just /one/ thing I'm looking forward to.

 

I hope you have a great week! Love you!

~Elder Robarts

2014.07.27

The dreadful moment you realize you only have three weeks left.

This is going to be a hard couple of weeks, that's for sure. Transfers are bad enough. This... I don't want to think about it, but I need to start preparing. I'm trying to contact investigators from old areas. If I can make contact with them from America, I should be able to provide some good fellowshipping for the missionaries here.

I don't know what to think right now, but there are three things constantly going through my head it seems.

Don't let any miracle slip by. Don't stop unless you hear otherwise, and share your testimony as much as you can while you have the blessed opportunity to wear the name of the Savior on your chest.

Make any preparations needed to maintain contact with those you have taught. Help them from the other side.

Leave something for missionaries to follow. Give them the chance to see miracles.

This week, we met 3 people that seem Golden. One started attending a church 1 year ago because he felt like he needed change in his life, but he has lots of questions. Says reading the scriptures is fun, it teaches him a lot, but he always has questions. Met him just knocking on doors, and he invited us in to talk. 

Second was a student who is studying in Canada and came home for vacation. He has had a ton of thoughts about life, and from the two times we've met him, he really likes what he's heard. Goes back to Canada this week, but we should be able to refer him to the missionaries there through Facebook.

Third is a man who met missionaries in Incheon at the start of the month. He's had a very serious disease come into his life this year, and it's taken a lot out of him, but it's pointed him to God. He says the missionaries helped him a lot, and we wanted to continue going to church. He said he just came down to Mokpo 8 days ago. It always amazes me how God knows where you need to be.  That same day we saw an investigator that went out to a park to read the Book of Mormon.

This is an amazing work. I'm sure life outside of this is good too, but it's hard leaving it behind. Just time to enjoy it to the end.

I love you guys so much! I'll see you soon!

~Elder Robarts

brief extra email exchange

Mom: It's Elder Lee's (an earlier favorite companion that he trained) birthday today.   I don't know if that's today here or today in Korea though.  lol

Elder Robarts: Crazy time lapse... I feel bad. Last year I transfered on his birthday. This year I leave the country. I must be a horrible father...

2014.07.20

Dear Home,

What a fun week! So, we had zone conference, and I was reminded of how old I am. Since this was my last zone conference, a couple times it came up that I was leaving. Comparing transferring areas to returning home. To members, it's the same. And to some extent, we need to do the same. What preparations would you do for the missionaries that come after? What work do you not want left undone? A couple other things too.

 

Until that point, I didn't realize that it was my last one. It hadn't registered. Training was fun though. It talked about planning, and the importance of thinking ahead. They went over a lot of tips that I'd started just doing on my own, but they made some new records that make it easy to update and organize. The coolest thing is that it makes communicating plans between companions better. Before, a lot of it was just in my planner or in my head, so I couldn't always express thoughts very clearly. But now it's something we both see, and it's easier to go over. AP's did good.^^

This week we found out that a LA member we met last week started going to church again! His family is here, and we bumped into him on the street. Arranged to visit his house, talked a bit, and when it was time to go back to school in another city, he said he'd start coming out again. So far he's been doing well! 

 

Met a couple prepared people on the street too. A father who feels like values are changing, and it's harder and harder to spend time with family. He especially wants his son to know that joy in life doesn't come from money, or worldly success, but in family and gratitude for what you have. An academy teacher that had heard a lot about the church before and wanted to learn more about it. An atheist who struggles with the idea with belief, but wants to help others live better lives. Says the principles of the gospel seem like I good place to start.

Missionary work is so incredible. A lot of the people that we're meeting now have a lot of potential. That one family I mentioned last week is amazing. The father started becoming more interested in church, said that he wants to take his family as soon as he fixes his car situation. (Broke down and they need to buy a new one) Prayed for the first time last week! I love hearing those prayers. So honest. Just like Lamoni's father.

Fun news: I gave a talk in church again this week, plus one of the teachers for Sunday school was gone, so I taught the youth. Preparing to go to the Temple.^^ Got to share an object lesson of the bowl of water and pepper where you put your finger into it and it comes out dirty, but if you coat your finger with dish soap it comes out clean and pushes the pepper away. We talked about the power of the Temple. The importance of being worthy of it, and the power that comes from going. I wish I was better at teaching, but I lucked out on the subject. Sacrament meeting was on having sincere hearts. Definitely get to participate a lot in this ward.^^

I love this work. It's fun, rewarding, challenging, driving, and it will show you things about yourself that you'd never see otherwise. Things to strengthen, things to be grateful for. And above all, you're surrounded by the power of the Gospel. Have a good week! Love you guys!

~Elder Robarts

2014.07.13

Thanks for the pictures! They were super fun! Everyone looks so different though...

There are a lot of Buddhists in Korea. Not all are very /active/, but they go by the title. 

Funny story. I am with Elder Hawes now. Used to be housemates, then we got transferred together. ^^

This week has been insane in all of the best ways. Ups, downs, and almost everyday a reminder of God's love for us. 

We met an awesome family this week! First met the dad on the street who asked if we could talk to his son. He's in middle school, and likes learning english. After talking with them, we get onto the topic of religion. He never had a religion, and to be honest, wasn't too interested until about 5 years ago when I was diagnosed with cancer. He went through a lot at that time, and he said that since then, there's been a part of him that's looking. Since they don't go to church yet, they said they would try to come out to ours sometime.^^ 

Also had an investigator that we thought for sure just wanted to learn english that progressed a lot. He said that he'd been doing a lot of researching online and found a lot of things about our church that he liked. Left a good impression on him. At first, he went to church, but had a bad experience when he was little so he stopped. Started going a little during military, but now he just prays by himself. Such a pure, innocent guy. While talking with him, he's always really honest about what he's thinking, and what questions he has. Really excited for him.

One hard thing this week was seeing an investigator growing a little more distant from the church, and I felt terrible the entire day because I had had such high hopes for him. It wasn't until the next morning that I started feeling better. I opened my scriptures for personal study, and the very first scripture it fell open to was what I needed. God truly is a god of miracles. He knows us, our needs, our desires. And He'll help us every step of the way.

Other fun facts: We've got a couple investigators who like meeting and playing basketball with members on Saturday nights, so recently I've been learning just how much I didn't know about sports. There's a lot more to it than I thought. Still terrible at them, but I see a lot more of the beauty behind it than I used to. Great for talking with people too. Here in Korea, they say you bond the most when you're eating or doing sports together. I see some truth to that. I also determined I need to exercise more.

Another miracle: Ran into a less active that lives in another ward. He was visiting his family here so we jumped on the chance to visit and talk with him. Turns out he lives 15 minutes away from the church there. Said he'd go this week, so we'll be checking up with missionaries there to see how he's doing.^^ I love his family, they're so nice. He's cool too. Likes art, so I brought some of my sketches from home. Reminded me how long 2 years has been. I haven't sketches in ages. Tried this morning... Didn't go well.

One of the things that pulled at my heart this week was a number of Less Actives that want desperately to come to church but can't. A sister who has a husband that hates the church. Keeps her from going if he finds out. She can only meet members or missionaries when he isn't there and she's alone. Another who is so busy with work 4am to 10pm some days on weekdays, then helping his mother on weekends in the countryside, that he can't come out. Another who is trying to provide for his family while paying off an old debt which makes him have to work sundays.

It tears my heart when I see them going through these things, and I wonder how to help them. But this week I realized something. We're doing it just by visiting. You can see in their eyes sometimes how much they want the church. Sometimes, if they can't come to church, God with bring church to them. Makes me think a lot more about the messages we share, and the spirit we strive to invite when we visit them. I love this work. And l love God. He knows us each personally in ways we cannot fully understand. But each new day I feel like another glimmer of light gets shown on his love for us, making it just a little more clear, a little more bright. Never let that fade!

Thanks for everything! I love you all! I look forward to seeing you all again soon!

~Elder Robarts

2014.07.06

Dear Home,

We had a great week this week! It feels so different now. I'm taking on a new role here this transfer. Fading out of the leading role and focusing more on mentoring, if you want to call it that. My old companion is serving as District Leader now, so President asked that I help him settle in for the transfer I'm still here. He's doing great! In addition to that, I think my new companion might be going senior next transfer, so I'm trying to help him get in some practice. Language, teaching, planning, the whole nine yards.

I've also started my "Lessons learned" journal. What works, what didn't, and just random tools that are useful. There's not a whole lot of time for it, but I should have a little now that I don't have to worry 100% coordinating district stuff.  It's been fun looking back at it all.

This Gospel, this mission, changes your life. You never really just how big of a change that is until you see your desires change. I love serving. While a missionary, you go from doing things you know you should to doing things you love, which are good. Sharing the Gospel, sacrificing time and efforts for others. Simply taking time to plan ahead.

There are few things as meaningful and of great a value as serving the Lord and directing your thoughts towards others.

This week, we met a Taekwondo instructor that told us that he used to go to church, and sets aside time in his schedule so that he can go, but doesn't feel right about the atmosphere of his last church. We talked a little about our relationship with God, and church is simply there to help support it. He took a big interest in the Book of Mormon and said he would start praying again. Pretty cool miracle.

Also paid a special visit to a less active family in our ward. We followed a prompting to visit, and it was the one day the husband came home early from work. Usually he gets home at 10. But since he was there, we could go inside and talk a little. Their family is so beautiful. Their testimonies are strong as well. It's just hard to come out sometimes. They have family in the countryside that need their help a lot, a family member with cancer in Seoul, and the husband recently injured his arm. I was glad we were able to visit that night. There have been a couple times I really feel like our visits have been inspired with their family. The spirit is so strong when we visit them.

There's no doubt for me. This is the work of God. There's no way it can't be. I've witnessed a peace enter into people's hearts that can't be described. And in serving, I've learned just how plain and precious the Gospel really is. It's not big and showy. It's inside us. It's a prayer answered by a loving Father. It's a calling to save another's life, or to lift arms hanging down. For that, I'm grateful. More than I can possibly tell.

I love you guys! You're the best. I hope you have a good week!

~Elder Robarts

2014.06.29

I'll never get used to this... Another transfer, another whirlwind.

So, before this week, my companion has been having a lot of problems with his health. First coming to Korea was rough on him, and he's been sick pretty much ever since. It gets better and worse, but never 100% cured from what he's told me. At first he didn't really say much about it, but it's gotten worse recently. From the looks of thing, he may even need to transfer state-side if it doesn't work out soon. Originally, President told me that I would be training him to be district leader before I go, but with this new turn, I won't be his companion. President brought in a Korean in case they have to go to the hospital again and they need someone more familiar with the system. As is, I once again became companions with a housemate. This is the fourth time I've had a transfer within my own house. But my new companion is Elder Hawes. Awesome guy, I'll tell you all about him later.^^ So Here's my district's changes...

Elders    Robarts Dursteler --> Dursteler  하용식

             Merkley Hawes   -->  Robarts Hawes

Sisters   이예지 윤미영  -->  Jacklyn 윤미영

This is it. This is my last transfer in Korea. But I'm aiming for this one to be the brightest.

This week we saw a huge miracle. Before in another area I had investigator I loved so much. We first met him by calling a wrong number, and ever since then he's progressed a ton. He's come to church six times or so now, and he used to have a date to be Baptized, but he had a big exam come up that made him too busy to meet. I'll try to share his whole story later, but last week I got the feeling I should call him. When I did, he told me that he moved since then, and he's now in my current area...  Met him again on Sunday. My goal is to help him get baptized before I go home. He's so ready for it. He just likes to question his faith sometimes.

There's so much to write about, but so little time. As is, we had an appointment this morning that kept getting moved around, so we couldn't do anything. We just about gave up and started emails when he called. Got about 10 minutes left before we'll rush to meet him.

But I love you so much. I'll see if I can do the second half of this later, but with transfers, I don't know if we'll have time. Just know that I'm thinking of you, I love you, and you're in my prayers!

~Elder Robarts