Sunday, January 27, 2013

2013.01.26 email

Dear Home,

Our investigator in 평택 was baptized!!!! I wrote about her a while back. She's the student that lived in for a foreign exchange program for a year or so. Friend and roomate there introduced her to the church. Anyway, my Elder 박 called me Sunday and told me. YAY!!!! She was a miracle from the start. We saw a lot of those in my first area. The Lord definitely answered my prayers, and I was saying a lot of them. Those first few months, I didn't think I was doing anything right. We weren't having much success my first transfer. We had investigators, but they weren't moving much. I couldn't really build relationships with them in Korean.

It was really hard to 전도 not being comfortable with the language, and no one wanted to talk. I didn't really know what I was doing wrong, how to improve. But I realized something. There isn't a perfect way to do this. Sometimes, a lot of the time, people won't want to talk to us. There's a little we can do to try to change that, but so often it's out of our hands. All we do as missionaries is invite. We work hard everyday, face a lot of people who reject our message, and wait diligently for the day the Lord puts the right person in our path. If we're working hard, he'll do it. My first transfer, I couldn't do anything. But the Lord practically threw investigators at us. It was humbling really. I struggled to feel like I was doing enough. I didn't want to waste those chances He'd given.

But this work is real. It's bigger than us. I can't speak Korean. I can barely communicate. But there's a lot of help. Good companions, and a Father in Heaven that's eager to see His children come home.

Anyway, I've been feeling a lot more like a missionary lately. Realizing things that are important. Before I get off the spiritual part of this letter, I wanted to mention something I noticed about Korea. They treat the Sacrament very sacred. I want to remember that. When they prepare it, they use a kettle and slowly pour it at the table itself. When they pass, at the end, the passers and the blessers both bow. And I mentioned this before. Some buildings use the same room for chapel and activity room, so when they aren't using the chapel, they close it off with curtains. If the curtains are open, you treat the room like a chapel. Very special.

Family scripture reading: Figures I'd join just in time for the Isaiah chapters... I mean, yeah! Isaiah is my favorite! To be completely honest, I actually do really like Isaiah. There are some nuggets in there if you look. One of my favorite chapters is 22. It speaks to me so much sometimes. Absolutely love it. I found a good time to read too. Breakfast. usually a little spare time. Not enough for a real deep look that you need for Isaiah, but nice.

Anyway, lot of people here today, so I can't waste much time. LOTS of culture this week.
Dog soup, already talked about.

Cooking: butter is expensive for missionaries, but I've learned that oil works pretty well as a sub. Been using that a lot. Even found baking powder, so I made some Lembas. Not everything was a success though. Don't make alfredo for a Korean. Kind of plain taste, especially when you don't have many ingredients. To them, /no/ taste. Opposite of all korean food. Haha... 

Also, fun thing I saw. Our toilet has instructions. Little stick figure pictures and everything. so fun. =D

Sandals in the Bathroom. Makes sense here. Drains in the floors, no shower curtains. Keep your feet dry when you walk in.

Also, Some things that aren't common in Korea. Bathrooms. Outside you don't find many. At gas stations, restaurants, 없다. Go before you leave. Garbage cans. Not many. Hard to pick up liter on the street sometimes when there's no place to put it... Drinking fountains. All water has to be filtered. Not much public water. Stop signs. Don't exist here. Tried to explain it to my companion, he thinks they're dumb. Different driving culture here.

Different ways you tie scarfs change how warm they are. Makes sense. Didn't learn that in California though. I've found a couple favorites I like to tie. Scarfs are nice.

Thanks for the pencils Mom! I use them to add color to my life. Matching ties and pencils when I leave the house. Little things missionaries can change. On that note. There are ties here! Or in 대전 anyway. We're going there for Zone conference, so I may have found a use for some of the christmas money you sent. Looking forward to that.

Also, met somebody this Sunday. The Hruby's, a family that lived in America for five years. Husband is American. Fun part: They lived in Rosemont/Brighton Wards. They knew a lot of people I did as we were talking. Not much time to talk at the time, we had a lesson, but I'm looking forward to getting to know them. Anyone recognize the name? Should I say hi for anyone? The wife is a really awesome Korean woman. And they should have had a baby shortly before they moved. Named Ben. Small world, no?

Holy cow that was a lot. Didn't go into depth much, but I'm still out of time. Love you guys. I'll try to get a letter written to give more details, but it's not super likely. Just know I love you!

~Elder Robarts 로바트 장로 (found a keyboard shortcut to switch keyboards. I'll try to use it more. [Does it copy okay?])

2013.01.27 pictures

Dear Home,

First: pictures.

1 You know those walls of apartments I was talking about? This is a taste. And These are the relatively small apartments. (The kind missionaries live in.) Korea is impressive.
 
 

2 This one is just outside of the university here. We can't 전도 (proselyte)  there, but english fliers are pretty effective. Just a small glimpse of the city.
 
3 Well, it took three months, but it happened. Last district meeting we went out to a place that had dog soup. Surprisingly, it wasn't too bad. Smelled a little weird, and I definitely prefer it when dogs are breathing, but at least now I can say I've tried it so members or investigators won't always try to get me to eat it. There are lots of new missionaries in our district right now, so we all got to experience it together. Korea culture time.    



4 For the most part, you guys probably won't be able to read this, but this is the 인사   (introduction) card I made for this new ward. Fun tradition, and it was nice taking a couple minutes to make it. Haven't sketched in ages.
 
 
Alright, now that that's all done, I've got tons to write about! Different email though. I want to get these pictures sent.

 
 
 

Sunday, January 20, 2013

email 2013.01.20 with pictures!

Dear Home,

Well great. There's a TON to cover this week. Not sure if I'll hit everything.

First off, this area's computers are Great! Should be able to get a few pictures in.

#1 Our Pyeongtaek English class. We had so much fun with them, and our last one was the best one yet. I'll miss those guys, but I'm excited for this new area.

#2 The view from our appartment. Not actually in our area. This one was recently opened, before it only had sister missionaries.

#3 Apparently it's warmer in Daejeon. We it a warm spell, got a little rain. Melted our frozen river. Lot's of water. Blocked off the shortcut we usually take to get across. Without it you just take a walk to the next road bridge, pretty decent distance, but we usually have to take the subway anyway. Our church is pretty far away.
#4 This is a distant shot of our area.We work in the city now, so it's a bit different from Pyeongtaek. I'll get into that later though. I just wish I could get a good shot of the city. These haven't quite done them justice.


#5 I can't remember if this was the good one or not... But this was my old district. Man I'll miss those guys. Fun fact: Burst mode is so nice for timed pictures. It gives you three or five options to choose from to get a good shot. ^^


Anyway, I'll send these and get back to writing.
Snap, I didn't get one with Elder Cho, my new companion. I was supposed to do that today.
Just a sec. What else to I have...


Anyway, I'll send these and get back to writing.

No, #4 wasn't a shot of our area. That's by our house. Ours is behind those.


This one might be our area. Hard to tell with these little previews...

There, Here's me and Elder Cho. Kind of rushed, but oh well.




Anyway,

The area.

I love this place. ^^ No army base, just a two man house, about a 40-50 min trip to the church when we take the subway, and lots of walking. I'm enjoying the work here, it's a lot of fun. :) Pyeongtaek was a lot different from here. Here, we have a National University, so there's a lot of people with English interest here. I've learned to be okay with that. For a while I just felt like an English teacher sometimes, but I'm beginning to understand. Missionary work is about helping people feel the spirit. English might be a bit of a stumbling block sometimes, but it opens doors that we wouldn't have otherwise. While reading member records, I learned that lot's of members started because of English. As long as it doesn't take away from more important things, it seems to help. But more importantly, it's great for BRT. (building a relationship of trust) I've been noticing that lately. Last area, there wasn't much English interest (army bases might do that. With so many foreigners, we're nothing special), but here, there's plenty. And English is great for talking comfortably. I didn't have that as much before. But when you can talk like that beforehand, it's SO much easier to teach. That's something I didn't appreciate before my mission.

This place is so awesome. Another cool thing we've started hear is story telling. Great way to learn a language. It shows you what you don't know, let's you practice, and it's pretty fun. I've been realizing how many of my life's stories I'm forgetting. I need to think about them more.

I guess this place isn't perfect. From a material point of view, not much competes with Pyeongtaek's Lotte Castle. And with a two man house and Korean Companion, talking comfortably is a little hard sometimes, but it's nice. And my Korean is getting a lot better here. I love working with Elder Cho, he's a really good missionary. Nice teaching style, too, lot's of pictures. Probably will try to use some of that later. But he's great to talk with. The members too.

So many awesome things. Anyway, no senior couples here, but there are two sets of sister missionaries here. Had some fun teaching english with them Saturday. And two of them went through the MTC at the same time as me. One from the older group, one from the younger. Fun stuff, but I think I'm pretty much out of time. I'll try to write more later, but time is short. I've got to build some 정 with my companion. Super important out here. So I might be practicing my ping pong skills later. Also useful BRT with investigators. (It's amazing how much of missionary work I didn't consider missionary work until I got out here. If your investigators aren't comfortable with you, you can't teach. Took me a while to learn that.)

What else was there? Ah, so there's a Costco in our zone now. Not sure how to access it, but I might try to find some stuff. Baking Powder maybe. I want to do more cooking and baking out here. I think it might actually be possible.

Am I rambling yet? Probably. Man I love missionary work. Thanks for sending the scripture references. I'll try to keep up on my end.

Also, looks like the audio clips might be out. You should still be able to send songs I think, but the recordings might not work. Mission President said it might be distracting from the work, and I can see that. I'll double check next time we do interviews, but I'm guessing it's out.

Love you guys. I highly doubt I covered everything, but I think my time's about up.


~Elder Robarts



Thursday, January 17, 2013

snail mail 2013.01.07


(the third of three letters in this envelope)

Dear Home,

I can't how long it's been.  It's 2013 already?  Time flies out here.  P-Days are even shorter, but I beginning to realize the most useful things to write or do, the ones most entertaining or uplifting, are either impossible to describe or don't take that long to say.

Truth is, I'm not sure if I can express the changes I'm feeling or the miracles I see.  They're too small yet powerful to capture or do justice.  And far too many.  But I can say this: I'm a different man.   My character is the same, my joys, my dreams, but there's a lot of experienced here.  Learning to do things effectively, not just doing them.

During New Year's I've made a lot a goals.  One of them is just to be more happy and accepting of life.  Even though I'm amid the most incredible time of my life, I admit, it's hard.  It's easy to get down if you lose focus.  But we all have a choice.

Over the past few months, I've let myself get discouraged more than I want.  I'm stronger than that.  The Spirit is there to help me.  I've decided not to let it take way from my joy anymore.

Also, I want to learn piano.  I don't know why, but this week it hit me.  I really want to learn.  I actually tried sight reading again the other day wile waiting for an appointment, and it was a lot easier than I remembered.  Never any time here, but maybe I can get some help.  Little bits here and there, and I'll try more back home.  Who knows.

Haven't sketched in ages.  Forgotten a lot of my tricks.  One of those things.  Wait and see.  Not really important.  I'm in the Lord's vineyard, and I'm actually really at peace right now.  At peace and moving a hundred miles per hour at the same time.  Missions.  Truly unique.

I love you all.  I hope everything is okay.  Life going well, no major tragedies.  Joy in the journey.

How's the ward?  Tell then I said Hi.  I've thought about them a lot.  My Scouts, the YM/YW, everyone I talked with.  You guys are great.  The church is good anywhere, but our ward was and still is my home. 

Say Hit to Institute, too.  Man, it feels like a long time since the days of random conversations and adventures at SCC Institute.  How's Reynolds and the classes?

Keep up the smiles, live everyday as if you were a son or daughter of God.  And go ahead and read Moroni 8:2-3, putting in your name for Moroni's.

Time to wrap up, but first, scripture time.  These are great for missionaries
Matthew 4:19  
Isiaiah 51:12  "I am he that comforteth you..."
1 Nephi 3: 7 
1 Nephi 17:3
1 Nephi 14: 14
1 Cor 13 :11
3 Nephi 5:13
D & C 109: 22-23   temples and missionary work, preparing missionaries
D & C 27: 15-18
D & C 31
D & C 100
Moses 6: 32-34
D & C 84:85, 88 continually
Alma 36:24 

"As a teacher, you are also called to be a student, for the sake of those who depend on you."  Teacher's manual, English program, Seoul West Mission

"We find peace when we realize we can put trust in God.  Joy comes when we realize God can put His trust in us."  President Alan Fisher, Stake Conference

Heavenly Father is real.  Christ is our Savior!  I stress over writing good letters, but is the more I need to write than this?
This is who I am.  This is my work.

I miss you all terribly, but I love these  people.  I want to help them.  I want them to know what the temple feels like.

Until next time.  With love, always.
(Elder Robarts in Korean)



snail mail 2012.12.31

(3 letters arrived together 2013.01.16 - I will get them up as I can.  This is the 2nd)
 
Dear Home,
 
Senior week this week, so crazy hectic.
 
Has some great holidays though.  A couple baptisms to get us inthe spirit.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner with members.  Pretty fun.
 
I love this mission.  It pushes me past what I thought I know.  I have a lot to learn, but these hard times are helping.  And it's really not that hard.  The language is crazy, working well with others is hard sometimes, but we're blessed beyond description.
 
And I am learning how to understand people better.  I'm learning that a little fun isn't bad.  Without it, it's hard to build relationships.  With my companion, he's business oriented.  Everythign has a purpose.  Usually. he'd use P-days to get to know companions.  But I always write letters.  So I think I may have to ease up for a while.
 
I hate it too, but it's important. Just missionary work isn't enough to build a relationship.  And to do missionary work effectively, you need a pretty good companion relationship.  
 
I guess I'm writing backwards today.
 
Start over.  I love you guys.
 
I've had a lot to think about lately.  Pretty busy over here, and lots of things to work on if I want to improve.  But the holiday season is great.  When I think about Christ, the simple points of the Gospel...the temple,  everything seems better.
 
I never realized how a language cann hinder things.  Even after it makes a little sense, it slows your thought time down.  You thin about language, yo can't think about how to make good conversation.  Your brain normally does it by itself, but when you force it's attention elsewhere (example: trying to tell wha they just said) you quickly realize that having a simple conversation is ten times harder.  And you can't even really plan wha tto say in English either.  I've tried a little, but no luck.  Need experience.  Hence, lots of studying, no time.
 
But I hope you guys are doing well.  I still think about you all the time when I get the chance.  Just moments, but good reminders.
 
I'm really sorry about these letters.  I write, but I never get to the things I want.  Maybe next week?  Maybe 2 years?  I tiry to keep a better journal, but even that is losing time.  and I don't know how to fix it.
 
This week has been insane.  We've got an investigaor getting ready for baptism, getting ready for senior week, tons of holiday meal invited, crazy.  
 
Had interviews with Mission President and we legitimately made a ham dinner for him.    Honey roast ham, whole nine yards. Honey roast ham from a member, cheese scalloped potatoes (it's been so long since I've made potatoes au gratin...) kimchi, even some sliced fruit.   Never cook like that on a mission....  (something in Korean) is unreal.
 
Anyway, P-Day is up.  I got in a decent email today.  Pictures and even a recording (I hope)  That may be it.  I'll try to focus on that, good effective emails.  Lettes are too unpredictalbe.  And maybe short voice clips.  Fun Korean facts, story every now and then. Could be fun.  =D
 
Now, I can't guarantee I'll have abilityto send these recordings every week.  But with luck, things will work out.  

Anyway sounds good.  Gotta run.  Love you!
(Elder Robarts in Korean)

snail mail 2012.12.25

(3 letters arrived together 2013.01.16 - I will get them up as I can)

2012.12.25 

Dear Home,

Well, it's Christmas!  I just talked to you, but it;ll be weeks away before you read this.  There's never enough time, but the words I really wanted to say are "I love you."  Everything else is extra.  But let's be hones, there's a Ton to say.  I've written a little about Alex, she's the new convert I mentioned on the phone.  That was crazy.  Already had relationships with all the members, knew everything, we really didn't do much, but it was incredible just hearing her testimony after she was baptized.

So many miracles.  The gift of tongues, inspiratation while looking for the address of a less active, finding a new investigator who has been well prepared to receive the Gospel.

There are a lot of hard times still, but when you consider everything, the big picture, you can really see the Lord's hand.  He's preparing us and providing for us.  And as we serve well, He blesses us with success.

Man, I miss home...First Christmas away was made a lot better by the great people here, but it still pulled at me.  They'd ask about traditions, and I thought about what I'd normally be doing.  I  wouldn't trade this experience for anything, butI've thought a couple of times that it'd be cool to have a couple people share in it and be here too.  Senior couple missions must be great.  We've got one set in our district that helps the military bases and they're just great.

Anyway, no time, so I'll continue this next week probably

Monday, January 14, 2013

email 2013.01.14

Dear Home,


Anyway, before I say anything else, we got transfers calls this week. And I'm leaving Pyeongtaek. My new area is in the Daejeon zone. Useong I think. Not sure on the spelling yet. Pretty crazy though, a lot is about to change. No more american food, no more english. Pretty sure it'll just be a two man house. My new companion's name is JoGyuWon. Not sure how much english he speaks, but from what I hear, he's a pretty young missionary. Should be fun, I'm looking forward to getting
to practice Korean a lot more. In Pyeongtaek, I think it's a little more hard to pick up the language with all the english from an army base and a four man house.

It's a shame though, I was finally getting settled in (pretty big sign that you'll go, huh?) Learning the names of all the members takes time here, but I'm hoping next area I'll pick it up faster. And at least I
know our investigators will be okay. Elder Park is sticking around another transfer, training an elder from my younger generation.

It's great though. Pyeongtaek has seen a lot of miracles last transfer. I told you about our P-day investigator. Well, it happened again. =D We finished email a little early, and we had a dinner
appointment a little later, so we decided to go to the church and wait for the other elders to finish. I think there was something we needed to copy. Anyway, we were there about five minutes or so when we hear someone come in. A college student came and asked to talk to us. It turns out, she just got back from a foreign exchange program. While in the States, her roommate was a mormon and they got along really well. She was introduced to the church, learned a little, accepted a Book of Mormon, and agreed to look for the church when she went back to Korea. Now, two weeks later, we just happen to go by the church exactly when she finds it. Crazy. She's about as golden of an investigator as you can ask for. I think she'll be pretty receptive.

There are so many things like that. I'm still not very good at Korean, or missionary work here in general, but the Lord has really been helping us. We've been so busy with appointments and lessons, we hardly have time to proselyte anymore. And yet, somehow investigators are still coming. It's incredible what the Lord can put in your path, without you even knowing it.

But now I'm heading to Daejeon. Elder Park will take care of things back here. I'm really excited, this new area should be fun! I think it's a big more city-like. but I'm not sure.

New people, new food probably, new adventures. I love you guys! Thanks for everything! I forgot what else I was going to write about, so I'll close here. Take care!

~Elder Robarts

Monday, January 7, 2013

email 2013.01.06 (well the 7th there)

Dear Home,

Man I love you guys. It's a new year, and all sorts of crazy stuff keeps happening. I'm learning a lot about the nature of missionary work, and life in general. Mostly, you can't expect things to be perfect all the time. You kind of have to let things happen.

Last week was senior week, so I got to practice raising my blood pressure a little. I've got a lot to learn. With missionary work, with the language. But I'll get there.

P-days are kind of a toss up everyweek. They depend a lot on your companion, other missionaries, weather, all sorts of variables. And a lot of times, you can't go into them with expectations or you'll probably be disappointed. Still, like I was saying earlier. Let them be what they'll be, and make the most of them. They're a gift after all. All of this is.

Anyway, I'll go ahead and send this now. The audio clips are almost done and I want to make sure they get there. You can listen to them, right? I haven't heard back yet. I'm not sure how often I'll make them, but I might try to do them more. Just a sec.

(note from Mom  - somebody let me know if the audio works, please)

R_MIC_ 01 INTRO.mp3R_MIC_ 01 INTRO.mp3
1039K   Play   Download  
R_MIC_ 03 FOOD.mp3R_MIC_ 03 FOOD.mp3
1990K   Play   Download  
R_MIC_ 04 GAME.mp3R_MIC_ 04 GAME.mp3
1328K   Play   Download  
R_MIC_ 05 PACKAGE.mp3R_MIC_ 05 PACKAGE.mp3
981K   Play   Download   

Another thing. Sorry I haven't been able to get any letters in the mail lately. We haven't gone to the post office in a couple weeks, and I've got three of them waiting to go now.

I'm curious what will happen next transfer. Less study time, more missionary work. More than likely new companion. (He's been here four transfers now, he's pretty sure that he's going.) It's been a growing three months. I've still got a ways before the language feels comfortable, but I'm understanding more almost every day.

It's impossible to describe life here. It's a lot of stress, but there are times where there's so much peace, even in the chaos. I wrote this in the letter, but it'll be a while before you get it. But I want to change a lot this year.

I want to be more positive, not worry so much. I want to work hard and learn Korean, the language and the culture. But one thing that surprised me: I want to learn piano. It struck me hard last week, and I don't know why. Nothing fancy, just the basics. Music is so peaceful, relaxing. I had the chance to practice some last week while waiting for an appointment, and it felt good. And sightreading wasn't as hard as I remembered. I doubt I'll have time very often, but it's at the back of my head now.

So many little things. Oh, and we got locked out of our apartment last week. New years eve actually. We were in a rush going out, accidentally switched the door into some mode that doesn't let you put in the code from the outside. Anyway, we ended up waiting an hour for someone to come, them another half hour for them to fix the door. Got to bed a little late, but it all ended up mostly okay. I seem to have bad luck with new years...

That might be it for now. I hope the recordings work. If they don't, just let me know. I'll work on it. Anyway, I might have to go, I'll see if I can write more in a bit.

Love you,
~Elder Robarts

Saturday, January 5, 2013

snail mail 2012.12.17

Dear Home,

Man this week has been Christmas.  There was a day or two when I had a rough patch, but we've been seeing miracles left and right here.  Our first baptism is coming up, and it came clear out of nowhere.  She's a former investigator who wanted to be baptized before, but her parents were against it.  But she's been in Florida studying, and she's turning 18 soon.  So, she's had all the lessons, and she's coming back for a while.  About as golden as it gets.  Funny though.  First (convert) baptism I'll see here will be an American. Who would have guessed.

Anyway we had a split for a couple days where it was just us greenies, and man Elder Barney is good. He's got the attitude of a missionary.  He'll be legend.  While doing that, we saw some incredible things.  Met with a sister who isn't a member, but who's son is on a mission.  By some miracle, we were able to communicate a little and introduce ourselves.  She was super nice, too.

Then we were looking for another place, and it was impossible.  Korean addresses are crazy.  No streets, the numbers aren't in order.  Crazy.  Just clumps with a number and sub-numbers inside it.  If the buildings have changed alot, the addresses get pretty crazy.

So, we're looking, and our camera with a picure of a map dies.   crud.  So, we say a little prayer, and start looking again.  Then we both feel like going down a side alley.  First number we see (and it's like "I Spy" finding these sometimes) is our place.  No luck (the guy moved), but still pretty powerful.  I figure we're mostly just learning and building faith this phase of our missions.  We won't be super effective until we get better at the language.

So many little things like that, and then the baptisms coming up.  There's the one I mentioned, and then another set of missionaries in our disrict has one soon.  They're out there, we just need to find them.

Then there's the Christmas party.  I probably could write a letter just on that, but I never have time to figure out my thoughts.  It was awesome.  My MTC companion is doing great. Turns out we really were companions.  We brogut the same gift to the white elephant.  = D  Speaking of which, you'll probably get a picture of what I got. (See 2012.12.31 email and pictures)  Pretty awesome. Mayebe not mission standard, but awesome.  Bright pink vest.  Shiny.  Wore it most of the day.  Then we watched "Madagascar 3," just a little taste of what two years from now iwll be like.  I now understand why Andrew reacted thw way it did to movies.  It was wierd.....

Anyway, we're doing alright over here.  Christmas is just around the corner and we hardly think about the day.  I guess everyday on a mission is Christmas really.  Looking forward to the call next week.  There's so much I should tell you guys about. 

I've got seven days of crazy adventure on my mind and I can't get it out clearly.  There's so little time....I need to get back to my MTC habit.  Little sticky note I'd write on at the end of the day.  Stuff to write about.  This week then.  This one is a lost cause, but I shared the tip of the iceberg for the spiritual stuff.  So I may wrap up.  Lousy letter, no?  (no)

And it was such a good week, too.  It's mostly in the journal.  Not much time for that either.  But at least it's on a page somewhere.

I love you guys.  I hope these are still nice for you guys to read, even if they're not much.  I've got to write my mom though, so sorry everyone.  Priorities. (Plus she'll probably share the good parts anyway.)

Elder Robarts


Dear Mom,

I've been studying the attributes of Christ a lot lately.  And I'm realizing that they're not what we always think.  We can see them as soon as we turn our lives over to Him any small way we can.  And you see them more and more in others.  Elder Barney, powerhouse of faith if ever there was one.  We're both greenies, but I don't know what I would do without him.  My trainer, too.  A little crazy, but he's a good egg, and he wants me to become the best missionary I can.

 If you ever worry about yourself not being good enough, keepa journal.  I started last year, and it's the best decision I ever made.  Then read parts of it.  See what God is up to, and even what Satan is up to.  We're mortal, we don't always have eyes suited for eternity.  But when we've got a journal, we can catch a glimpse of how it works.

Weakness doesnt make us bad.  It just challenges us to do better.  The only time we fail is when we don't try.